


The place I called home.

by Yui_Miyamoto



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27143077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yui_Miyamoto/pseuds/Yui_Miyamoto
Summary: Taking place after the Rostelecom Cup, when Yuri finally makes his own routine, how will Victor react to the tune he chose? (Note: Shounen-ai)
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov





	The place I called home.

**Disclaimer – Yuri!!! on Ice doesn’t belong to me.**  
  
  
_/In the shadows, there were bursts of light coming from every corner of my vision.  
  
White flashes blinded me from seeing their faces, but I could feel their desires extending out towards me. They’re calling out my name in a ravenous chant, partially sharing in my delirium with placing my lips on this golden victory.  
A kaleidoscope of colors encircled the rink as I turned from side to side so that they could continue taking pictures and see our faces in full view.  
  
Fame.  
It took a lot more responsibility than you’d comprehend because we had to stand out. We had to lead or else our fans would stop grasping for a piece of us.  
  
**For we are the representatives of a piece of a living dream.**  
  
What they didn’t know was that we feared the day they stopped wanting to know about us…when we passed the point of being enveloped in ourselves, forgetting that we needed their love, for the will to keep moving forward and push away all those defeating thoughts,  
  
we crave them in return so that we can love ourselves  
a little better each time we give ourselves away.  
  
I stood on the podium with tears brimming upon my eyelids. They thought it was from happiness because of the placid smile combined with grateful waves and wistful kisses in between the drops of water falling down.  
  
But not everyone’s enthralled because some people were starting to yawn or turn away from me.  
**  
They’re starting to fall out of love with me even if they’re not conscious of it yet. Where can I go from here?  
  
The descent is steeper than anyone can imagine, but I need to rise higher.**  
  
Because when I looked around, you were nowhere near./  
_  
  
**The place I called home.  
By Miyamoto Yui**  
  
  
The moment I feel cold, I shiver myself awake.  
  
Blurry-eyed, I stretch my hand out to clutch the spot next to me to find no one there. The linen faintly holds its last traces of heat.  
“Maccachin…” I sigh, unable to say aloud, “You know it’s hard for me to sleep without you.”  
  
Messily putting on a yukata though the draft is prickling my skin, I slide the screen open, looking left and right. The silence throughout the house echoes my cautious steps a million times over.  
  
**I’ve always hated this feeling.**  
  
A small muffle comes from Yuri’s room, the door unusually open at this time of night. He’s always very careful to let me know that he doesn’t want me to enter his space.  
  
Tiptoeing towards his direction, I struggle to look through the slit and find him hugging Maccachin, who is licking his face. Sniffling, Yuri holds him a bit tighter. “You have no idea how glad I am to know you’re okay.”  
  
Maccachin whimpers as Yuri’s laughter rings in the air. “I am sorry I hug you all the time. I miss Vicchan…and I still can’t believe you’re both here with me.”  
  
The fact that Maccachin became attached to Yuri didn’t faze me, but that Maccachin treats him as if we are the same…that we are equal in his eyes, is something I actually hadn’t expected.  
  
**His owner never really gets close to anyone…  
Or is my child telling me something I don’t know yet?**  
  
Maccachin stops licking his face when Yuri wipes his tears away, but keeping one hand stroking Maccachin’s chin, his favorite spot to be touched besides the very top of his head where the eyebrow bones dipped.  
  
When he stops, Yuri rummages through one of his bags and brings out a special treat he’d bought. “Victor told me you loved these. I’ll give them to you for lunch tomorrow, okay?”  
Out of happiness, Maccachin jumps and pushes Yuri down, his paws pressing on Yuri’s chest and his tail wagging in thanks. He holds his furry face softly in between his hands. “Okay, I better return you to Victor or else he’ll start to notice you’re gone. He calls out for you when you’re not there, you know that?”  
“Rowf!” Maccachin replies in total agreement.  
  
**They’re trying to keep their meeting a secret from me, are they?**  
  
Their rustling tells me to scurry back into my room. I quickly push myself away from the door and make my way to my bed as fast as I can, pretending to sleep. Maccachin jumps up and rests in his usual spot near my stomach.  
  
But as I thought he’d just shut the screen door, I feel Yuri’s presence behind me and staring into my naked back. I feel the strain of his silence and my shameless neediness that wants to invite his affection.  
  
Soon, the power of his warmth dissipates and I hear footsteps quietly run away. They go towards the direction of the front door.  
  
I kiss the top of Maccachin’s head while pulling the covers over him after I dress to follow Yuri.  
  
Being here for a couple of months, I have come to know the pattern of his disappearances.  
  
#######################################[#](https://www.livejournal.com/rsearch/?tags=%23)#####  
  
  
Crossing over the expanse of this long bridge, the lonely waves crash into one another, ringing in my ears as I briskly walk towards the rink appropriately named “Ice Castle.”  
  
The prince that lives there only appears when I coax him to come out. However, every time I do, he draws out a little more of my soul. So I have only myself to blame when he finally rips the seams dry.  
  
I can feel the ache widening as he invisibly tears right through my skin so that I’ll bare my real thoughts. Because underneath it all, this is my one true wish. But to prevent myself from losing control, I’ve swallowed it down each and every time.  
  
In exchange, it’s only a matter of time until I fully capture him into my inner realities.  
  
**Until then, these cravings…  
…become overwhelmingly brutal.**  
  
_/“What have you done?” Tapping my index and middle fingers on my temple, my eyes squinted while watching the video upload.  
**  
I’m not amused at all.**  
  
At every passing second, I could feel my wings being slowly plucked away, one feather at a time. Trying to fly far ahead of everyone, one was bold enough to catch up to me. Though clumsily, he had come at me with all his might.  
  
**Is Katsuki Yuri mocking me? Does he really think by copying me that he can acquire all I’ve strived for?**  
  
But the more I studied the video frame after frame, whether or not he was ridiculing or challenging me, Yuri had clearly pointed out the one thing I’d hidden in between pulses: Sincerity. Integrating my routine with his feelings of admiration, his gestures blatantly told of how hollow I was.  
  
The reality of why I couldn’t answer what I’d do for next season: I’d hit the ceiling of my creativity. And now what was left were all the things that I’d ignored about myself…  
  
**The closer I am towards perfection, the faster I find all my flaws.**  
  
He saw past my façade. “Stay close to me” stripped and showed more to the public than I’d ever wanted them to know about me, undoing me line by line.  
**  
How many years has it been since this story started unraveling inside of me? And how easily this boy has seen right through me, consciously or not.  
  
I must find out.**  
  
I got up suddenly and a startled Maccachin stood up on the couch watching me pace around. I started to call everyone so that I could make preparations to leave and do something I’d never done in my life…  
  
**You will trust me and then I will shatter your heart into tiny shards**./ _  
  
That had been my overall plan until your mother showed me your room.  
  
And I, who had not cried since the day I received Maccachin into my cupped palms, tears welled up inside of my chest ready to burst out, but like always, I suppressed them. My stupid pride wouldn’t let me cry.  
  
_/Circling in the middle of the room, I saw the multicolored tones of my career within those posters on your bedroom walls.  
  
“My debut,” I chuckled a little, putting my hand over my mouth as I remembered how Yakov got pissed off when I tripped from nervousness as we were heading to the rink. “Oh! This was when I surpassed my idol’s world record…My first gold medal…”  
  
Frightened, my fingertips were unable to touch the glossy surfaces.  
  
What the world saw…what I wanted them to see…I was very careful to make sure that they never intersected.  
  
**Do you see me like everyone else does?** /_  
  
Feigning confidence, that was my answer to everything, whether they wanted to compete with me or looked up to me as their goal. Yet this boy who had dismissed me when I asked if we should take a commemorative photo and danced with me while he was drunk, asking me to be his coach…  
  
**You‘ve been tugging at my heart all this time and I’m still wondering why.  
  
I guess that is the truth of why I’m here.  
  
There’s something telling me that you don’t see with the eyes of the world. I’m intrigued by and petrified of it.**  
  
That’s why your simplicity knocks me out. I don’t know if you were reading in between the lines in all my interviews, but you gave me an expression of guileless curiosity when you touched the top of my head. Acting as if I was truly upset, I fell to the ground and asked if my hair had gotten thinner.  
  
I used to hate my hair color. Because it was strangely beautiful and naturally soft, people expected me to be some sort of heavenly being. But I was no angel because in my soul, I wanted to wrap myself up with a passion that would leave me senseless from its force over me.  
  
Skating was the reason for my being until you said, “Be my coach, Victor!” And then, I’d discovered the truth: “He has more faith in me than I’ve ever had for myself.”  
  
**Talent can’t ever overshadow self-confidence.**  
  
Not wanting to betray myself, I teased you because your eyes directly told me, “You’re real. You’re really here and it’s for me, but I know this is just a dream. I’ll wake up soon and you’ll disappear.”  
  
This single look squeezed my chest raw, ready to collapse upon itself. It’s like looking into a mirror, but I can’t face my own reflection yet.  
  
**I want to ask you so many things, but words fail when my thoughts meet these feelings, scared and strong simultaneously.  
  
From the rate you’re going, when you will figure out that this is the first time I’ve ever felt like this for anyone? And when you do, what will you do?  
  
Whatever you answer, where will I turn?  
  
This is what keeps me here, and want to run away as I’ve always done.**  
  
#######################################[#](https://www.livejournal.com/rsearch/?tags=%23)#####  
  
  
When I walk up to the back doors of the rink, having a copy of the key entrusted to me, I hear the whisper of music coming from the inside. My right hand holds onto the handle for dear life as my blood begins to crystallize in my veins.  
Closing my eyes for a second, I realize what’s playing. “This melody…”  
  
**Of all the songs you could’ve chosen, why are you playing this one?**  
  
The piano chords slice cleanly towards the core of my heart.  
  
**Where did you get this arrangement? I’ve never heard it before...**  
  
It was the first story I’d ever created by myself.  
Two angels fell from heaven, punished for forsaking purity to love one another like humans did. The sun burned into their eyes as they both fell. They’d been abandoned to live lives as wingless beings. Separated by fate, they were brought together again, but in this lifetime, they couldn’t be together…  
  
**How far did you memorize my routines, Yuri?**  
  
Somehow, I find enough strength to open the doors to glance at the world through Yuri’s eyes. With fists pounding onto the icy ground, I hear him sobbing. “How many years have I been trying to make this but I’m still not strong enough? Why am I like this?!”  
  
_/The sting of my cheek slapping against the ice frustrated me. It reminded me of my physical limits, but I refused to believe it every single time. Pushing my heavy body up to sit down on the icy ground, Yakov held out his hand to pull me up. Firmly and concerned, he scolded, “Vitya, you must calm down.”  
Pathetically, I couldn’t help but want to cry, losing myself to the craziness inside my head. I held my hands in fists as my left cheek pulsed in pain.  
  
Holding out until the sun set and dimmed into the lavender tint of twilight, long after everyone had finished walking the streets, I still skated with the mini snowflakes flying around me. I practiced to the point that my feet were throbbing like icicle splinters. My body was so bruised that maybe body makeup or even the layers of my costume couldn’t hide how much I’d pushed myself beyond human capability.  
  
“I admire your enthusiasm, but enjoy the road. You won’t perfect anything in your personal anger.”  
I turned away from him in embarrassment with my long hair blocking my face from his line of sight. Again, he went to look for me like the dumb kid I was.  
  
I could feel his eyes tell me, “What’s your rush anyway?”/ _  
  
I hide myself as Yuri gets up to start the song once more. Expecting him to have his arms crisscrossed and his palms and fingers at the sides of his face with closed eyes, I’m astonished to find he’s changed the opening pose. His arms cross over one another, but his wrists are touching his thighs. Yuri’s chin points down diagonally, his profile facing my direction.  
  
Unlike the electric harp I’d used, “Fallen” plays out with the alternating tranquil and powerful keys of the piano with a slightly faster tempo.  
  
“From the moment our eyes met, emotions began to flow.”  
  
**You’ve changed the lyrics as well?  
**  
Unwrapping himself, he spins around, winding to open his arms out towards the ceiling with his head pointing upwards. His subdued eyes convey his anguish.  
  
“I never knew fear, death, or rapture until you looked straight into me.”  
  
I see my joyful, yet naïve younger self skating right next to him.  
In the next step sequence, I had held my hands out, skating backwards ready to hold my face and hold my arm up for a triple lutz. It was to block my lips, shy and ashamed of how I looked before the heavens.  
  
“From now on, my songs all turn towards you. They are for you and you alone. Please don’t turn away from me when you hear them.”  
  
Yuri chases after me, his arms grab a hold of my ghost self, embracing me over my chest and reaching for my fingers while in mid-air.  
  
“I want to touch your hair, grab your arms, and crush your ribs until there is no distance between us.”  
  
Incredulously, I watch as, one after another, he counters all my moves. Talking to my younger self with unspoken words, his love shines in the curves carved on the floor of ice.  
  
**Can I believe that it’s more than childish wonder or adoration that you feel for me?**  
  
Spinning with one leg out, he runs to chase after me again until he stops at the middle of the rink. The piano beats weaken, keys spaced apart until there is no more.  
  
“Once fallen, we can never return. That is all right as long as I can find you here, even if you don’t remember me in this lifetime.”  
  
Yuri’s kneels on the floor, with his wrists over one another and clenched eyes embracing someone from behind. My younger self is on his knees holding out his arms in a desperate prayer towards heaven with the long ponytail touching the iced floor.  
  
**Please don’t come closer!**  
  
Hugging myself, I turn away from them and run out the door. I am sure the agony and confusion I feel, then or now, is cracking through the mask I constantly wear. More than anyone, I don’t like people seeing the real places where all my vulnerabilities lie.  
  
**I sell love because it comes with the performance package!**  
  
Shaking, I come to terms that I am more terrified of it, no matter what my reputation is.  
  
He had seen through everything. “Stay close to me” was the continuation of this story, the angels finding one another though not realizing they were always in love with one another from the beginning of time.  
  
**These pieces encompass the reverie of my ideal love.**  
  
Composing myself after the song repeats one more time, I enter the rink with an unperturbed expression matched with a smile. Feeling scattered, he skates towards me and I brush the sweat from his forehead with the back of my fingers.  
  
“I’ve come to take you home.”  
  
He nods bashfully, but I can’t resist as I wipe the tears away from his eyes with my thumbs.  
“What are you practicing without me?” I manage to say.  
“Nothing.”  
“Enough for you to cry like this?”  
“I’m not as savvy as you, Mr. Five-Time World Champion,” he replies as I press my palm onto his cheek.  
“I didn’t-“  
Lightly rejecting my caress, he goes to the other side to collect his things and clean up.  
  
**Rather than creating the rival I’ve imagined…  
I think I’ve made someone who is saving me from my self-destructive ways.**  
  
_/ **They’ve all introduced themselves to me except that one.**  
  
Hiding on the balcony, I watched him from the door. My shadow was a little short from touching his feet.  
  
**You keep looking at me, but you never say anything. When will you ever talk to me?**  
  
“Victor, dance with me please?”  
All the years culminated into one long-awaited moment as that flushed face looked up into mine, his body heat seizing my soul along with his wish.  
  
This was the first time he’d looked me straight in the eye./_  
  
**I skated that for the world…  
But to him, I had finally come to understand, his skating world was me.**  
  
Still, in this lonely rink even with only the two of us facing one another, our souls are fragmented. We only see certain parts of one another, but never a whole picture.  
  
Even as we lock the door behind us to go down the stairs, he still wants to walk behind me. I stop on the last step and hold my hand out.  
  
Stupidly, we’d forgotten our gloves in the rush to leave and so our palms touch one another. The chilly, crispy air brushes against the top of our hands.  
  
The moon up above comforts us on our way back home.  
  
#######################################[#](https://www.livejournal.com/rsearch/?tags=%23)#####  
  
  
The next day, right after our morning ritual of eating breakfast as a family, Yuri’s sister goes upstairs to start cleaning the few unoccupied rooms before new guests arrive. His mother holds Maccachin’s face before going over the list of duties for the day while his father begins preparations with the cooking staff for the menu.  
  
Tying my sneakers at the genkan, Yuri puts his hand on my shoulder. “Do you mind if we go to the beach today?”  
I shake my head while tying my shoelaces. Yuri’s mother calls Maccachin over to wrap a small green and red shawl-like cloth on his back, buckling snuggly around his abdomen. Licking her hands, he runs out before Yuri’s put on his shoes.  
  
The run is quiet as the morning sky is soon dyed from cobalt blue into bright orange, becoming brighter and brighter the further we go. Yuri is leading with Maccachin in between us. Everytime I try to match his speed, he goes a smidge faster knowing that my stamina is not as strong as his. So by the time I sit beside the ocean, I’m panting while he stands next to me stretching and twisting from side to side.  
  
Maccachin puts his paws on the top of my knees to show me his new present. “Well don’t you look handsome?”  
“Rowf rowf!” He answers, running around in a circle and then dashes off into the wet sand, enjoying the softness under his feet.  
“Okay, that far is fine!”  
Looking at me, he runs back to me and Yuri only to be gone in the next minute.  
  
“I must thank your mother for Maccachin’s gift. He looks so happy.”  
“Oh, you don’t have to. She likes doing those kind of things. She used to make little things for Vicchan, especially when he was a puppy.” A tiny hint of a smile comes to his serious face. “One year, he totally chewed up the squeaking toy seagull she made. He pouted so much that she had to sew up another one.”  
I chuckle at the story and raise an eyebrow. “Vicchan, is it?”  
“Er…” As many months as we’d been together, he still looked down to the sandy floor and blushed. I had heard about his poodle and even saw his picture at the altar, but never from Yuri’s lips.  
Winking at him, I tease, “It’s a very common name in my country.”  
“I couldn’t ever call him Victor,” he muttered childishly. His ears turn a shade redder than I’d expected, turning his head away from mine.  
Ready to take his chin between my thumb and index finger, I stop myself.  
  
**Calm down. He doesn’t realize that he’s so adorable. Or that he’s torturing me like this.**  
  
“Hmm? Can you repeat that again? I didn’t hear what you just said.”  
“I said he would run up to the screen whenever he heard the name Victor.” He covers his mouth.  
“Oh, so you watched me that much, did you?” I tilt my head, giving him a killer smile.  
  
“Heknewexactlywhohewasnamedafter,” Yuri replies in one fast breath and scratches the back of his head. “Ahahahahaha…”  
  
**You’re incriminating yourself and it’s tickling me silly. Stop it or I can’t stop myself from wanting a taste…**  
  
I take a glimpse of his cute face and my fingers twitch to snatch the back of his long, unblemished neck for a bite.  
**  
Don’t do it, Victor. You know better. Remember the last time he boiled over? We couldn’t practice for a whole day because his nose kept on bleeding.**  
  
Catching myself in time, I briefly look away to bite my knuckles without him knowing.  
  
“So why did you want to run by the coast today? Any particular reason?” I fold my hands to cover the teeth marks and keep myself in check.  
He looks at me again and nervously asks, “Did you hear anything before you entered the rink last night?”  
“Like?”  
“Oh, never mind.”  
With a serious side glance, my voice goes down one octave. “Did you think I wouldn’t recognize my own song?”  
He gulps. “So you did hear it.”  
“Why are you trying to hide it from me? I am your coach, aren’t I? If you want, we can work on that for your next routine.”  
“No no no no no.” Yuri refuses with his hands waving rapidly in front of me.  
“Why not?”  
Again, his profile faces me as his eyes gaze into the blue waves grip onto small amounts of sand each time they go back. “That song was the reason I followed you, Victor. I don’t know why, but when I saw that, it called out to me. I know you’ve done many other stories, but that one was my favorite, even though at that age I didn’t understand what all of it meant.”  
He smiles as his cheeks burn again, his eyes following the foam that tries to come higher than the last time. “And my friends and I started to copy your routines from then on. I tried to do the other skater’s programs, but they didn’t feel right for me. Nothing but yours. It was like singing a song. Your voice in skating really resonated within me, dreaming along with you.”  
“Is that so?” I lean back and look up at the seagulls flying and cawing overhead. “So you weren’t planning to do this routine in public?”  
“No.”  
“No confidence?”  
“I promised myself that when we stood on the same podium, I could finally face you. I would show you then.”  
  
My eyes open wide in shock when he pinches my chin so that we are staring at one another. “After all, I only made that routine for you and no one else.”  
Yuri stands up, embarrassed as something inside me quivered, hoping for and against myself.  
  
**_The person who would figure this song out, I would love them until the end._ That’s what I’d told myself then.**  
  
“What did you name this song?”  
“’For you’.”  
  
Stupefied, I sit there blinking my eyes at him. “For you” was the original name I’d imagined, but hadn’t ever told anyone. People would have asked questions so I’d chosen “Fallen”, being open-ended in one sense and conclusive in another.  
  
This secret had always been locked inside my heart.  
  
Yuri walks off and Maccachin runs after him for me. Stunned, I slowly get up and dust off my pants. They are so far ahead that I lose sight of their figures while following them back to the house.  
  
#######################################[#](https://www.livejournal.com/rsearch/?tags=%23)#####  
  
  
There’s a ‘closed temporarily’ sign on the bath door as I quietly sneak in to find Yuri’s back facing me. He’s holding Maccachin in his lap while sitting on a light green stool, gently washing his paws of all the sand on the bottom and at the edges of his fur.  
  
It’s so sweet that the tears gather in my eyes as I watch them.  
  
My dog doesn’t like being washed or trimmed, but he seems to listen to Yuri. Yuri doesn’t say anything as he thoroughly scrubs his paws. His hands skillfully soap, lather, and dry Maccachin that I am moved by the deepness of his devotion.  
  
All my thoughts immediately crumble into one another: **I want to show you to the world. I want to compete against you and crush you too.**  
  
**Most of all, I want to keep you all to myself.**  
  
These honest eyes...  
The declaration in the press conference over your theme…  
When you pushed our foreheads together…  
Your pleading tears as you screamed for me to believe and stay with you…  
Your fingers intertwining into mine…  
**  
All wanting to keep my attention. To keep me from going elsewhere…**  
  
Over and over, when I think I have to show off to keep up my confidence, he comes to tell me how much he wants me to be beside him. To just love him as I am.  
  
**But I am afraid of you, of how pure that is.**  
  
Maybe that was why I was attracted to him. He never hesitated to show me that he loved me. I joked around and played it off, but he grabbed my wrist or pulled my tie to tell me, “Look at me. Look only at me.”  
  
His performances keep saying to me: I don’t want anyone else. I don’t need anyone else if you are here.  
  
And that responsibility of being seen as myself and not the image I had made for myself was more than I could take.  
  
Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I bury my face into his back, my lips pressing onto the back of his neck. The craving slowly changes into hunger. Lava wanting to melt through my skin into his, consuming me at a rate I can no longer hold back.  
  
“Victor?”  
  
**I love you. Even if you break my heart cleanly in half after you find out I’m not the person you thought I was…  
  
Before the magic of your transformation ends, I want you to be only mine.**  
  
#######################################[#](https://www.livejournal.com/rsearch/?tags=%23)#####  
  
  
Days later, at Barcelona around 3am before the competition…  
  
“Victor, you need to sleep.”  
  
Confounded at the fact he knows I haven’t slept a wink, my inner panic is masqueraded partly by the darkness and his weak eyes. Yuri slowly blinks his eyes at me while yawning. His arm stretches out so that he can pat my hand, which is hanging from the side of the bed.  
The two rings clink at touching one another.  
  
“I guess I have no choice. There’s only one thing I can do.”  
  
Taking my covers with me, I sleep on the right side of his bed and hug him from behind. I snuggle my forehead on his neck, my mouth pushing against his left shoulder blade. I place my left arm over his and pull him closer to me with my left leg over his.  
I expect a complaint saying that it’s too warm or some form of protest.  
  
He doesn’t.  
“That’s fine if you can sleep…” He yawns again.  
  
**Maybe he’s figured out that I really can’t sleep without Maccachin next to me.  
**  
“Oyasumi.”  
“Spokoynoy nochi, Yuri."  
  
Drifting off into the land of slumber, I envy him. Once more I feel the tears in my eyes, all the frozen parts of me softening in ways I couldn’t understand. His acceptance of me always catches me off-guard.  
  
**How long have you been watching me, Yuri? I know it’s been a long time because your gaze is like that of a child’s. Will you still love me when you see me with the eyes of an adult?**  
  
“Even if I’m like this, please stay with me,” I whisper into his ear in my native tongue, cuddling him closer to me.  
  
**Somehow, you’ve seen through my ruse.**  
  
“Yuri…” I intertwine our fingers together as his breath becomes calm and deep in sleep.  
  
**Will I hurt myself again or devour you? Either way, starvation can only lead to one thing…**  
  
Feeling the heaviness of sleep, my mind starts to wander into a lapse of peacefulness. Whether or not it is a dream, Yuri pulls both our hands to his lips, warmly pressing against the rings and our fingers.  
  
**No one in the world has ever treated me as preciously as you have.**  
  
From then on, I cannot fall back asleep so I dress up to meet the dawn. Walking along the coastline, the darkness disappears into shades of red and yellow upon the waves. I finally look up from the road to hold the ring up against the sun, gleaming into my eyes and the seagulls singing their hungry cries.  
  
**I know I can never come back and be the person I used to be.  
  
This was no longer the only place I called home.**  
  
  
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After the searing heat of receiving his ring and the subzero iciness of suddenly ending my career as his coach, we find an equilibrium with the silver medal. The banquet is scheduled for the next day so everyone leaves, letting go of all their flustered emotions of the competition. Yuri goes back to the hotel room to rest despite wanting to sightsee as I talk to Yakov about my return.  
  
Because it’s nearly midnight, I expect Yuri to be sleeping or preparing to because our bodies are conditioned to the routine we’ve set. And add the jetlag of traveling heavily for two weeks, I am pretty sure he is on the verge of a total knockout session.  
  
I turn the key to our room, pulling my tie after all the wine Yakov and I drank to our ‘reunion’ and my ‘change of focus’. I stand at the doorway with my finger on the knob of my tie.  
With the door shutting behind me, I find Yuri jumping on my bed like it’s a trampoline. That is fine, but he is nearly naked with only his briefs and my suit jacket. A single button holding it all together. I take a deep breath and gulp, look around to reassess the situation and wonder if I’ve come to the wrong room.  
  
**It is times like these that I am glad I am not a teenager ready to gush in every possible way...**  
  
He kneels on my bed on all fours and tilts his head at me with a happy expression on his face. “Victor~! You’re finally back to celebrate with me~!”  
  
**Apparently, he makes me an overgrown teenager.**  
  
Behind him, I finally see various bottles lined up against the windowsill.  
  
I walk over to him mesmerized by the fact that while half naked, I am more turned on by his innocent smile at genuinely being excited at my return. He pulls me and hugs me sweetly while rolling around from side to side. Since we had decided to push our beds together, it wasn’t as dangerous as it could have been.  
“I’m sorry I borrowed your jacket, but I missed you SO MUCH.”  
  
I end up kneeling over him.  
The alcohol in my blood disappears and I couldn’t close my eyes even if I tried. The jacket keeps distracting me, barely holding itself right above his navel with one nipple peeking out. Seductively, his right knee is up while his left leg is stretched out. His hands drape gingerly over my shoulders, deciding whether to push or pull.  
  
The little kid in me decides to tickle him and he starts giggling hysterically, shaking his head from side to side. “This isn’t fair! You know it’s a non-touch zone!”  
His laughter just encourages me even more.  
The soapy smell of his body and the freshly washed hazelnut-scented hair drives me mad, one point away from going over the edge. When he gasps and coughs very hard, we lie next to one another.  
  
Tired from tumbling around, he catches his breath and I stroke his hair back.  
“I’m sorry...”  
“For what?”  
“You disappeared when Yurio did his performance.”  
I avert my eyes away, my bangs falling in front of my eyes. This time, he is the one pushing my hair back.  
  
**Undoubtedly, these eyes see right into my soul.**  
  
“Then, as penance for making me sad, will you answer this one question?”  
“Okay.” He puts his hands on my cheeks so that I won’t turn away from him.  
“Why did you choose that song, ‘Fallen’?”  
“Because you’re a liar.”  
“A liar?”  
“You’re only honest when you skate. You’re in love with it and it’s in love with you…” Yuri’s voice become lower, happily thinking of something from the past. “Your expressions change when you’re on the ice and when I saw ‘Fallen’, it was the first time I ever saw you smile. You were breathtaking.”  
Still holding onto my face, I climb over him. My knees are over his hips, and I try to balance myself. Finally, I hold onto his cheek delicately with my right hand. Sleepily, he looks up at me with that innocence…  
  
The same face that always watched me from a few feet away for all these years.  
  
Tears drip from the sides of his eyes.  
“What? Am I hurting you? I’m-“  
He shakes his head, pulling me down so that his arms embrace me.  
  
“Yurio called me a little before you came back.”  
“And what did he say?”  
  
“Hey, Pork cutlet, you’re an ass to make him cry like that.”  
“Yurio?”  
“Stop stepping on his heart like that. Even you’re not stupid enough not to know what he gave up for you, right?”  
“Victor was always great…with or without me.”  
“Idiot. Until you spoke to him, even if you were dead drunk, I’d never seen that guy grin like that before.”  
“He was that happy?”  
“God, you’re annoying. Gotta go. My grandpa’s going to call me right now. Catch you later.”  
  
Yuri paused for a moment when he finished his story.  
**  
Stop snipping all the strings in my heart. I don’t think I can recover from you, Yuri…**  
  
Snoring lightly into my ear, I pull myself up. He’s fallen asleep like an angel.  
  
“It was just getting to the good part,” I complain. “Oh well…”  
  
**He’s been drinking a little anyway…I’m sure he won’t remember this miniscule detail…**  
  
I lean down to kiss him on the lips, pushing my tongue onto his. Bittersweet with a touch of rose.  
“Some kind of Catalan vermouth?”  
  
**How appropriate.**  
  
The temptation for more to quench my widening addiction...  
  
“Ah…” he murmurs. I nibble on his neck, sure to not leave any marks.  
After ten small bites, I carry him onto his bed. The light from the window glows over him and I end up cradling his body longer than I should have, even when he sneezes. It reminds me of the nights I spoiled Maccachin when he was only a puppy.  
  
Dressing him into his sweats and t-shirt, I tuck him into bed, but his eyes flutter open, reaching out to hold the back of my neck. I shiver at the tender touch.  
“Thank you, Victor,” he mumbles with a silly grin on his face. “I love you…”  
  
I kiss the back of his hand as he flinches at the caress…  
  
It would have been great if I had stopped there, but he starts to groan, the back of his tongue reverberating, when my tongue licks against his earlobes and I find more interesting spots...  
**  
Well, how about the places where no one else can see? I think that would be all right…**  
  
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The following morning, Yuri walks to the bathroom like a zombie and is lucky to have no hangover. He leaves the bathroom door partly open.  
  
“Victor, what time did you get back last night?”  
“Hmm?” I hug my Maccachin tissue box cover and roll over onto Yuri’s bed.  
“And how-when did I change into these? I don’t remember-“  
There’s a sound that is between a scream of bewilderment and a shriek in disbelief coming from his direction.  
**  
So I overindulged just a little…  
I thought it’d take me him longer to notice. It usually does.**  
  
“What happened, Yuri?” I ask in concern.  
  
“Did we do anything last night?”  
“Like what?” I groan into his pillow. It’s filled with his scent so I hug that along with the tissue cover.  
“Never mind.”  
  
I grin as he closes the door. Holding out my hand, I search for my phone lying at the side of my bed. Smiling to myself, I look at the camera roll.  
  
**Okay, so how I could resist after all that?**  
  
There is a picture of us looking up, taking a selfie together because he insisted on it while we were rolling around. In a surprise attack, while I was pressing the ‘shoot’ button, he puckers up his lips like a 5-year-old and kisses half of my cheek and half of my lip.  
**  
Of course I wanted a full kiss, right?**  
  
When he comes out of the bathroom, he lazily goes back onto his bed. He lays flat on his stomach to reach over the edge of the bed to grab a paper bag. The angle is too good to be true that I absolutely blank out on what he’s saying to me.  
“Victor, did you hear what I said?”  
Struggling to answer, I keep silent, trying to look groggy and hiding ‘my other self’ into the sheets.  
“These are for you.” He repeats himself while putting the bag against the wall. “I bought the nuts again.”  
I shake my head.  
  
**You think of me so much that it becomes harder to think I can go on without your kindness…**  
  
Letting go of his pillow and the cover, I sit up and pull his arm.  
  
“Do you want to come live with me in Russia, Yuri?”  
  
I say these words in my usual bold tone, but inside I’m trembling.  
  
When his eyes open wide and his heart ingests my words, he hugs me so hard that it’s difficult to breathe. And then when I feel his tears on my shoulder blade as he’s shaking from happiness, I pat his back.  
  
I whisper to him in Russian, but he doesn’t ask for an explanation. His ears change into a shade bordering on violet.  
  
**Somehow, I know you know what I really mean.**  
  
He pulls himself away from me and stares at me with those teary eyes. Grabbing my shoulders towards him, Yuri gives me a kiss so deep my head dizzily hits the sheets while my hand kneads through the skin under his t-shirt…  
  
And when he clings onto me and his sweat mingles with mine, half kissing his ear, I tell him again, the last lyrics from my version of ‘Fallen’,  
“Don’t part from me again, my love.”  
  
**Home is wherever you are.**  
  
  
  
  
  
**Owari. / The End.  
  
**

**Author's Note:**

> I’m supposed to be working on the ending to the Initial D fic and it’s 75% done…and then Victor’s image kept on tugging at me with a, “You know you want to write about me.” There’s something that bothers me about his acceptance to be Yuri’s coach. It’s just too perfect. So this twirled in my head.  
> I think I am excited because it has been a while since I found a new kind of character. Victor is definitely someone I’m going to have more fun with in the future…because I have to admit, I can’t listen to “Stay Close to Me” without crying. Why do you have to wring me out every week?
> 
> Yes…that and the fact I quite enjoy their pure love. It’s really radiant.
> 
> My favorite part of the series is when Yuri shouts and cries, but he says “Damatte ii kara, hanarazu soba ni ite yo~!” The translation is something like “It’s okay even if you’re deceiving me, I don’t want to part with you. Stay with me!”
> 
> And late Happy Birthday, Victor~! <3
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it.
> 
> (Okay, now onto making some lemon and lime for our cute couple because we definitely need some smex. *grins*)
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


End file.
